Where / When Does It End?

Will it end?

I am getting soooooooooooo tired of this nonsense.

All I did yesterday was go into Ottawa for my physiotherapy session.

And then I had lunch with my sister-in-law.

And on the way home I made two stops to pick up stuff that we needed.

OK -- the stops involved those over-sized super stores that require walking 1,000 miles just to pick up that bag of milk (which is deliberately located at the furthermost point of the store for strategic purposes).

I even took a sleeping aid last night to ensure a good night's restful sleep because I knew that I was getting behind in that department again.

I slept -- sort of.  Only woke up once and went right back to sleep.

Yet today, I wake up feeling like I've been run over by three mack trucks and my legs think that I ran a marathon.

Now I know that the reason for this phenomenon is because of the reduced Cesamet dosage.

I am simply not getting the benefit of the drug and I really don't see the point of staying on it at all.

My doctor doesn't agree with that reasoning.

He opines that I am in fact getting some relief from it and if I go off it completely, my pain level will be much higher.

He's right of course.

But if I'm in pain anyway, what difference does it make if that pain is moderate-severe or severe?

I can't continue to function at the moderate-severe level which is where I seem to be right now.

It's wearing me out -- fast.

So why not just go back to where I was prior to going on the Cesamet -- and eliminate any questions we have about what else the drug might be doing to my physiology?

And I will simply have to step up my pain management activity involving the many other tools at my disposal since it seems that non-medicinal techniques work very well for me.  It's also much safer to manage pain by applying the Acupen or the TENs unit or wearing a brace than popping a narcotic every twelve hours.

Now, I'm facing a day of doing nothing because I have to recover from yesterday.

And I have to recover because tomorrow I head back into Ottawa to see the endocrinologist about my eating problems.

Here we go again!