Sunday, July 22, 2012

The irony of fibromyalgia

Have I mentioned that fibro really sucks?
Well, it does.
This week-end, for instance, our good friend Bob is here from Toronto.  This evening, his new lady friend will be joining us before they head home tomorrow.
And I wake up this morning having spent the night being run over by Mack trucks again.
All night long I dreamt weird, busy dreams.  Small wonder I'm tired when I wake up in the morning.
I think I've come to realize that the nights on which I have weird, busy dreams are also the nights on which the Mack trucks are visiting me.  (What came first, the chicken or the egg?)
My legs feel like lead weights and it takes Herculean effort to put one foot in front of the other in order to walk (tall order that!).
My neck is as tight as it's ever been (thank heavens for John who does a fabulous job of kneading away the knots).
Now, the last thing I feel like doing this morning is my stretching and exercising. But I know that I have to do them. I cannot give in to the pain.
I also have to do my biking, regardless of the overwhelming fatigue.
The irony of fibromyalgia is that if you give in to it, it gets worse.  But gosh it's difficult not to just curl up into a ball and try to sleep it off (as if sleep helps when one doesn't really get any restful sleep in this state).
What one has to do is push through the pain and fatigue and do those exercises to strengthen the muscles and keep them fit.
I know from experience that if I keep on truckin' I can almost keep the flare-ups at bay.
Years ago, a pain management specialist that I was seeing told me that if I wasn't the type of person I am (one who pushes myself in spite of ), I'd have been bedridden many years earlier.  Fibro is that insidious.
The trick is to find the right balance.  Function through the pain and fatigue but don't push too hard.
Rest is key, of course.  Do a little bit, then rest.  Do a little more, then rest some more.
So now I'm off to do my exercises and then I'll do the bike (I'm up to 45 minutes a day now -- yay me!).
Then I'll rest before making the salads for tonight's dinner.
Then I'll rest some more before showering.
Then I'll rest again until our guests arrive (I'll watch my boys beat dem Red Sox again!).
With luck, I'll be able to enjoy our company.
Have I mentioned that fibro sucks big time?

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