The Roller Coaster ride is over

Yes it is!

My head has finally come to a stop.

My body too.

Just yesterday I was wondering if / how I would know when this nightmare was truly over.

But I woke during the night, just as I always do, and I knew.

I could just tell that something was different.

And then it struck me.

Everything was right in my head again.

Finally!

I hadn't taken any sleep aid last night and I woke every two hours, just as I had been doing when I was taking something, which leads me to believe that there really is no point in using the damned stuff.

Perhaps they might work now that the nightmare is over, I don't know.

That remains to be seen.  I might give them a try again some time in the future.  I'll discuss that with my doctor when I see him on April 8th because I know that it is important that I get a full night's sleep (Lord knows my body is begging for just that).

BUT, not once did I have to mop myself up when I woke, so the sweats are over now too!  And, that , my friends, is a welcome relief.

So now, all that's left to accomplish is to regain my strength.

My weight is down another pound and a half this morning and that is not good.  I really can't afford to lose any more weight so I will have to work towards preventing further weight loss.  (Oh Lord, it's been a long time since THAT'S been a concern for ME!)

Yesterday, I asked John to take me into Carleton Place to do a little shopping (I really needed to get out of here for a while and I had a few things I wanted to buy -- to get some stuff off my "worry wheel").  It proved to be too much for me, physically!  It helped emotionally, but my head was spinning by the time we got back.

I spent the rest of the day flaked out on the sofa again.  (I'm really starting to hate that piece of furniture!)

So today will be another day of rest and restoration because tomorrow we have to be in Ottawa again and it might take a physical toll on me.

And I don't want another crash.

I want to regain my strength so I can start taking control of my own life again.

As anyone who knows me can attest, I really don't do "dependent" very well.