The fog is slowly lifting.
The nightmare is slowly ending.
Maybe.
I have lost exactly four pounds since Sunday.
You read right.
Four pounds from Sunday last to this morning; that is only three days.
One is not supposed to drop weight that quickly.
I know I wanted to lose weight; but not this way, and certainly not this much.
But since Sunday, I have taken in very little and put out mucho.
Everything goes right through me, in liquid form.
Today again, I am as weak as a kitten.
The cold sweats are letting up, a little.
John is keeping the house so warm he can hardly bear it.
And still I'm shivering under blankets.
As the sweat is pouring down my body.
But I now have my TENs machine back (it had been in for repair since last Wednesday and only just yesterday arrived in the mail -- what a delight it was to receive it!) so I'm wearing it and finally getting pain relief.
Yesterday, by supper time, I was able to eat something and John was quite optimistic that I was finally turning a corner.
I had, at that point, had two days of the .5mg of Cesamet and was to have taken that dose for another two days, taking the final capsule today (remember, I had been planning a celebration for today -- yeh, right, like that's going to happen).
But I figured to heck with it. It was only half a mg and I had been reducing so gradually, what more harm could I do by simply NOT taking those final two doses?
So, I made the decision to stop the Cesamet and did not take yesterday's dose.
I guess my body had different ideas.
On my way to bed, I had taken a gravol again to combat the nausea but I woke during the night desperately in need of something for the pain, it was absolutely unbearable.
And then the sweats started.
And then the chills.
And then the call to the bathroom.
And the diarrhea flowed like water.
When it was over, I made my way back to bed and curled up and passed out again.
When I woke this morning, I didn't feel at all rested.
All I felt was weak.
And when I stepped on that scale and saw the numbers I damned near freaked.
How the hell long does withdrawal last anyway?
I mean, I've told my body it's not getting anymore of that poison.
Message to body: Get over it; I'm not giving in! You are getting no more. End of the road!
Now, John insists that in addition to the withdrawal, I have picked up a flu bug.
I don't know how to assess that because I don't feel the way I usually feel with a flu bug (and I have had many). And he says that if this goes on much longer, we will have to go to the hospital so they can put on an IV and get some nutrition into me (I have an appointment with my doctor on April 8th and even if I were to call for a appointment with him now, I likely wouldn't get in much sooner than that anyway). I suspect that he is away right now anyway.
I argue that I'm getting nutrituion into me: Ensure; Gatorade; jello; dry toast; tea. I don't want to invite another seizure so I'm making damned sure that I protect my electrolyte balance. Problem is, everything is going right through me.
And then my cleaning lady arrived this morning (and oh, the house needed her attention!!) and she tells me that there is a nasty flu bug going through the region.
She suggested that if I were to go to the hospital, presenting with the symptoms I have, they would simply diagnose flu and send me home. And she said that the hospitals are asking people to stay home when they have the flu because there really is nothing they can do for them.
But the flu bug that is making the rounds (Norovirus) already visited me at the beginning of the new year -- why would it come back, am I a particularly welcoming hostess?
As I sit here, at my makeshift workstation on the sofa, I am feeling much stronger now than I was this morning.
But I'm not up and about doing anything; and I can put my head back frequently to rest.
Earlier, I went downstairs to the office to take care of a few details and by the time I made my way back upstairs, I had had the biscuit.
So my energy bank is extremely low.
I expect I will sleep the afternoon away, just I have every afternoon this week.
Eventually, I have to turn the corner and start going in the other direction.
I'll let you know when that happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment