Finally, the day has arrived

Well, today's the day I see the orthopaedic surgeon to discuss my hip replacement surgery.

I'm not sure how I feel about this; I'm really conflicted.

After ten years of being told that my problem stemmed from bursitis and/or fibromyalgia, I guess I'm having a hard time convincing myself that replacing my hip will end my difficulties.

And frankly, if I'm still going to have difficulty sleeping and moving about because the probably bursitis and/or fibro will remain an issue, what's the point of going through the surgery and all that it entails?

I remind myself that my doctor has ensured me that replacement of my hip joint involves removal of the bursa -- therefore, end of bursitis if in fact that has been a contributing factor, which he knows it has been.

As to the fibro, there are no easy answers for that and I know that there are no guarantees.

But knowing that the hips are fibro trigger points, and mine are obviously easily enraged, I worry about what I might be inciting.  And whether we'll ever get it under control afterwards.

On the plus side, however, is the vast number of people I've heard from who have had the procedure done -- all with excellent results.  I've not heard a bad report.  Without exception, everyone who has had a hip replaced feels that they should have done it years earlier, they are so happy with the results.  (They all had very easy recoveries too, but my physiotherapist has already cautioned me not to expect mine to be quite so easy, because of my fibro issues.)

So I guess I've just talked myself into proceeding with the surgery because life has to be better afterwards.  It is for everyone else who has it done; I have to accept that it will be for me too.

I do know that, because I have fibromyalgia, I can expect to be plunged into a flare-up -- that's a given.  How long that flare lasts is an unknown. 

Today is the first day I have any amount of energy -- the eighth day since my return from Toronto.  (I actually managed to walk ten minutes this morning.)  I guess I can use that as an indicator of what to expect following the surgery.  I also recognize that all this doubt stems from the funk I've been in during this recent flare-up.

Perhaps this will be a matter of long term pain for longer term gain?