Sometimes I feel like such a pariah ...

I've always tried to be a very considerate person.

I mean, I'm always mindful of the other person's feelings.

And I try not to hurt anyone.  At least, not intentionally.

But apparently, I must not be very successful at it.

Because it seems that my efforts go unappreciated by my family.

I don't mean my progeny or my husband -- they fully appreciate me.

I'm talking about the family to which I was born.  The one about which I can do nothing.

You've all heard the old adage:  "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family."

Well, I've done a bang up job of picking my friends.

And it's a good thing too.

Because when it comes to picking families, I really got the short end of the stick.

For all intents and purposes, my father abandoned me when I was twelve.  That's when I found out that it was more important to him that I present a physical image that would be acceptable to the outside world rather than  simply be me.  Much to his chagrin, the lesson he taught me was that I should always be true to myself, no matter what society might expect of me.

My siblings abandoned me, one by one, as I stood my ground against parents who failed to support my choices in life.

And my mother abandoned me when she effectively forced me to choose between her and my daughter.  Could there be any doubt who would win that battle?

I've struggled with this separation from my family on and off for many years, telling myself variously that it does or does not really matter ... much. That as long as I have the love of those who do matter, that's all that really does matter.

But truth be known, it hurts.

I've just found out that yet again one of my siblings has been to this area for the weekend and failed to contact me. I might have liked to join her for a meal, or perhaps a coffee. Had I known she was visiting.

Over the years, various members of my family have shared meals together but none has included me (with or without my husband).

We live only 45 minutes outside of Ottawa and might, if invited, join them.

But we've never even been given the right of refusal.

I don't even get a phone call to say, "Hi, how are you?"

Kind of makes you feel like a bit of a pariah ... sometimes.