I've figured out the problem now ...

Yes I have.

I'm going to wake up every hour, hour and half if I don't use the TENs machine; and I'm going to wake every two hours, two and half hours if I do use it.  For a total sleep complement of six and three quarter hours of sleep per night.  Each and every night.

Because the issue is, always has been, and continues to be one of my need to switch sides:  I cannot remain on either side for longer than that at one time (the TENs machine gives me the extra hour of relief/sleep).

You see, because of the bursitis in both hips, my legs don't work like a "normal" person's.

The only way I can describe it is it's like there's a disconnect between my brain and my legs.   I simply cannot command my legs to do what I need them to do. That's why when I get tired (i.e. too much walking; shopping, etc), my legs start to feel like lead and I can't manage one more step.   And I need to use my entire body to roll over.  Most people switch sides several times a night without realizing it, but I have to wake up when it's time to do that.

And that is true whether I'm using pain meds or the TENs machine, and whether I'm taking a sleeping aid or not.

After what I've just been through, I absolutely refuse to take another narcotic pain reliever.  I simply will not risk my life that way again.  I most definitely will not subject those I love, and those who love me, to that level of stress ever again.

So, obviously, when I see my medic on Thursday morning, our discussion will again revolve around:  what the hell are we going to do about the pain in my hips?  My inability to sleep through the night has little to do with fibromyalgia and everything to do with bursitis.

Will we ever find the solution?

Yesterday, I ended up with only five and a half hours' sleep because of  "bad dreams" that kept waking me once I did get to sleep, and then the "scare" prevented me from getting back to sleep.

And it was my darling's birthday!

We went for a special birthday lunch.  He chose the meal and the locale (there's a restaurant in Almonte that serves the best damned pizza EVER).  Turns out they make a mean Caesar's Salad too!

Bonnie and John celebrate his birthday - April 6, 2010

OK, I know, he looks a tad scared but he's just a little territorial about his cameras (and he was indulging me in my silliness -- I can turn anything into a birthday cake!).

Last night, again, I managed only a total of five hours, in two sets of two and a half hours (I was using the TENs machine).  So I hope to grab a brief nap before I have to leave at noon.

Today, I'm driving myself into Ottawa for physio, and after nearly six weeks of total dependence on John for my every movement, I'm soooo looking forward to this first foray into the big city, under my own steam.  After physio, I'll go get my little chickadee at her workplace and we'll hang out before going to pick up my beautiful boy at his day care (oh, I can't wait to see him!). 

This evening, I have a haircut appointment (time to get beautiful again!) and I stay overnight at my little chickadee's place (it's been a loooooonnng time).

Tomorrow morning, I have a breakfast date with my beautiful boy before I deliver him to day care (lucky boy, his day care is right at his school!).  Then I'll head off to see my doctor for that on-going battle about what to do with Bonnie!

And then I'll come home and rest up for the busy week-end that is ahead of us.

Honest I will!