My Doctor's Office Called ...

My doctor's office called this morning, in response to the message I sent on Tuesday. I had told him that unless he had another suggestion for me, I was going to stop the new meds that weren't controlling my pain any better than the other meds had been. I figure I may as well go back on the other meds since they aren't quite as harmful to the system as the new meds. His advice? Stay on the new meds until I see the rheumatologist at the end of May and hope that he has some magic solution.

I agreed to follow his advice but only until then. If, come 22 May, the rheumatologist has no new ideas to relieve my hip pain, my doctor will be seeing me on his doorstep once again to discuss where we go next. He has already mentioned a couple of other options but wants to wait and see what the specialist offers. I guess I should grant him that.

Today, I go for my bi-weekly massage -- something I'm going to enjoy immensely. My therapist and I have come to call my massage appointments our "giggle hour." We discuss everything under the sun and there are many topics that elicit much laughter, which has proven to be vastly beneficial for both of us. Nothing gets the endorphins going like a good laugh. She tells me that many of her clients prefer to sleep through their massages; I can't imagine why they would. When you combine the relaxation benefits of massage therapy with the endorphin-raising effects of laughter, you get double the therapeutic value of the session. Often when I leave my session, my therapist thanks me for the benefit she derived from the hour -- perhaps I should start charging her?

Off to a Good Start

Today looks like it might be a good day, in the scheme of things.

I had my usual wake-two-or-three-times night -- my hips really aren't happy these days so I have to accept that. But I woke just before 6:00am this morning and my pain level is "not bad" which means it is bearable. So that is good, for me.

On today's agenda -- get back to my family tree research. I haven't done enough of that lately and I'm getting itchy to return to it. The 1911 UK Census returns are available, for a fee, and I just have to search for my peripheral family members who were left back in England. Eventually, I'll actually produce that book I keep promising to put together. I'm not really sure who I would be doing this book for since, in my family, I seem to be the only one who is interested in this stuff. I call it "looking for my dead people." If you think about it, that is exactly what family tree research is. Of course, in my case, I've had more luck finding live people than dead; but that's a whole different story.

Difficult Night after a Long Day.

Well, I had a difficult night last night -- which is what usually happens after a long day.

It seems that when I put my body through the type of abuse that yesterday represented, I pay the price during the night with not being able to get comfortable. Once again, after a five hour jaunt to and from Ottawa, I arrived home in a state of severe exhaustion. My body simply cannot endure such a basic outing, which is a crying shame. I was exhausted to the point of being too tired to eat dinner. And I forgot to take care of an on-line financial transaction that had to be arranged last night, which ended up costing me a service charge this morning -- and that just rots my socks! Then, in spite of being exhausted, I woke up every two hours because my hips were on fire with pain.

This morning, I sent my doctor a message explaining the lack of relief I'm getting from the new meds that he had hoped would work well for me. I told him that, unless he can suggest something else in the interim, I will go back on the other pain med until I see the rheumatologist at the end of May -- and hope he can pull a rabbit out of his hat.

Another Long Day Ahead of Me

After another rather rough night, I am facing a long day again today.

This is my physio day, so I will be leaving home at about 10:15am. When I finish there, I have to stop at a friend's place to deliver tax papers (yes, folks I do income taxes!). I will stay for a short visit. Then it's off to the computer store to deliver my old laptop to have it assessed: do we replace the keyboard and reformat the drive and start over with a "new" laptop, or do we junk it? Of course, if we are keeping it, that begs the question: what the heck for? I just bought a new, super duper wide-screen laptop that makes the other one, which is a mere five years old, look like a dinosaur.

Anyway, after the computer store, I have to go and pick up my repaired hearing aid -- finally! It will be really nice to have that back, let me tell you. Then I will head home via Carleton Place where I will make a couple of returns at some shops there.

That should place me back home between 3:30 and 4:00pm -- just over five hours on the road! I wonder where that fits on the activity scale?

My new meds -- the saga continues!

So I guess my new meds aren't working worth a damn!

I have been taking it as prescribed, every 12 hours, and here is what I'm finding:

• If I sit around home and do nothing -- and I mean do nothing -- I get maybe ten hours' relief
• If I do very little -- and by that I mean perhaps make a meal -- I get about seven or eight hours' relief
• If I do something a little more strenuous -- like go for groceries -- I get a whopping six hours' relief
• If I go into Ottawa for physio and a few errands -- I never go into Ottawa for JUST physio -- I'm lucky if I get four hours' relief

So, bottom line is, as far as I'm concerned -- the new meds are not working for me. Now, it could be a matter of a wrong dosage or it could be simply that this drug is not the right one for me. Whatever the reason, all I know is my hips are causing me a great deal of agony.

Yesterday my step-son and his lady friend came over for the day to help John clean up the front yard (lots of trees drop lots of leaves and if they aren't cleared in the fall, they have to be cleared in the spring). Fortunately, we had prepared dinner in the crock pot so that was a fairly simple production; dinner cooked while the boys worked and the girls visited. But before they arrived, I decided to make a surprise dessert; a gorgeous lemon cheese cake. That involved being on my feet for a longer period of time than I guess is good for me. My hips let me know it as the day progressed and I ended up wearing my TENs machine for the rest of the day. Dessert, by the way, was a huge success. I have everyone's permission to serve it again.

Computers -- aaarrrggghhhh!!!!!!

I've been busy today cleaning out the old laptop so I can take it to the shop for assessment (do we replace the keyboard and reformat the drive at minimal expense and have a relatively good, working laptop for who-knows what purpose?) We haven't yet decided what to do with the old laptop; I could have simply had it repaired but buying a new one is so much more fun!

When I brought the new laptop home on Wednesday, I was too tired to do much with it at the time so the task of installing all the appropriate software on it was moved to the next day. I am very mouse-dependent -- I truly dislike using the mouse pads on laptops -- so I bought a bluetooth mouse with this new toy. Trouble is, the boys at the shop apparently found the only mouse in the store that didn't want to talk to my laptop and they sold it to me. Every time the computer went into hibernation or was turned off, it had to be told yet again that I was using a bluetooth mouse. And guess what I had to use to communicate that? Yup -- the mouse pad! I am truly spastic when using a mouse pad. I really don't understand why I have such a problem with it.

A significant amount of time was spent on the telephone with the techie at the computer shop trying to resolve the issue. There is no way I should have had to keep telling the system that I was using a mouse. So it was decided that I must have been given a defective mouse and it would be replaced with a different brand when next I am in Ottawa. I thought I could get by using the mouse pad in the interim. Hah! No can do.

As a last-ditch effort, I decided I would try installing the actual software that shipped with the mouse to see if that resolved the issue. Voila! The mouse and the laptop are now talking to each other -- all the time! And when the laptop wakes from hibernation, or is rebooted, it sees the mouse. Imagine that! The shop didn't sell me a defective mouse at all -- they just assumed that Bill Gates' operating system would talk to a non-Bill Gates' mouse. Silly them!

Sorry for being so irresponsible!

Apparently my fanbase missed me on Tuesday and Wednesday this week. I'm really sorry for being so irresponsible.

As I mentioned in my earlier post today, I spent yesterday in the city and came home dog-tired, so that explains the lack of post yesterday. As to Tuesday's missing post, I had spent that day readying my old laptop for the transfer of information to the new laptop that I was picking up the next day.

I also didn't have much to report on Tuesday. We had run a couple of errands and I had spent the rest of the day cleaning up the old laptop and rounding up original software CDs that would have to be installed on the new laptop. I didn't think that was worthy of posting here. But apparently my fanbase needs to know what I'm doing on a daily basis.

I will try to do better, I promise.

Such a disappointment!

So, here we are. Day five of my new pain meds and I have been awake since 3:00am because of pain. My next scheduled dose is not due until 9:00am -- I am currently drawing a bath so I can let the massage jets pount away at me and see if that gives me any relief.

What did I do differently? After five days of laying low and "taking it easy" to gauge how I would respond to these new meds, I went into Ottawa yesterday for my physio appointment. On my way in, I stopped to talk to my pharmacist to discuss whether it would be wise to ony take the meds if I needed it. He assured me that it would actually be a good course of action to do that -- to help reduce the "addiction" impact. Other than the first day, however, I had been sticking to the 12-hour regimen and noticing that I was getting about 10 hours relief.

Yesterday, though, by 3:00pm, as I was driving home from the computer store (I picked up my new toy -- an LG R510 Notebook Computer) I was aware that the pain meds had worn off. And by the time I got home, I was exhausted beyond belief. Couldn't even eat dinner I was so tired. Couldn't even stay with my Jays game I was so tired. But I pushed myself to wait out the time to take my next pain med at 9:00pm.

And here I am, at 3:00am -- six hours after taking the last dose -- and my body doesn't know it has had any pain meds. I can't take another until 9:00am. Obviously, this new medication isn't the answer. Apparently, it only works if I sit around the house and do nothing. I need something that works and allows me to have a life, even if that life only involves going into Ottawa for my physio appointment and making a few errands on the way home.

Guess it's back to the drawing board!

Let's Play Ball!

I got the tickets! Aisle seats (I have to be able to extend my right leg) in the section we want; row 10 on Saturday, row 9 on Sunday. It doesn't get any better than that! All around us, the Blue Jays have reserved the seats for their own special people. That's right, when I asked for the section beside the one we got, no can do; those seats are not available for sale to the general public.

So on Friday, August 7th, we will watch the game on television at our good friend's home, just as we always do on our annual Blue Jays weekend. On Saturday, August 8th, it's off to the ballpark to mingle with the 1992/93 players (yeh, right, like I'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting anywhere near them!) and then we will watch the game from our choice seats. And on Sunday, August 9th, we will celebrate my birthday at the ballpark, watching the game from our choice seats, but one row closer than the day before.

Back in 1994, I also spent my birthday in Toronto "with Joe Carter." A good friend from Stratford, who is also a huge Jays fan, met me there. We shared a hotel room, went to the ball game and had a wonderful visit. The Jays were wanting to "three-peat" of course. That was the year the Montreal Expos were poised to take the National League pennant -- and most likely the World Series; they were on fire! While unlikely, wouldn't it have been sweet to have had the first World Series ever to be played totally on Canadian soil, between two Canadian franchises? That weekend was the last Jays' homestand before the players went on strike, ending the season altogether. As far as I'm concerned, baseball has never been the same. Now, fifteen years later, the Jays are the only Canadian franchise, which is a disgrace to baseball but that is a whole other discussion.

I am still a dedicated fan and the boys in blue (or black or grey or whatever colour they are wearing that weekend) will all be there for my birthday party again! And, as I do for every Blue Jays weekend, I'll be wearing the "29" hat that I bought back in 1994 -- that should make it easier for Joe to spot me.

Joe Carter, I'll be there!

My beloved Blue Jays are having a Back2Back Reunion from August 6 to 9 this year. Most of the team members from the 1992/93 dyn-o-mite roster that put the Jays on the map way back then will be there.

I have been a fan of the Blue Jays since their inception in 1976, having been a baseball junkie since I fell in love with catcher Elston Howard back in 1963. I can remember racing home from school to catch the last of the Yankees' afternoon games; I had just turned 13 years old! I have had a soft spot for catchers ever since; but then along came Joe ...

During the Jays' drought years since 1993, I have remained a loyal fan. Some would say I plan my social calendar around the Jays' schedule. Can I help it if I love my boys in blue? or black? or whatever colour they might decide to be wearing in any given year? Point is, I love the Toronto Blue Jays.

When I met John in 1995, he was an Expos fan. Today, he is a Blue Jays fan. How's that for conversion (persuasion) skills?

Anyway, the point of this entry is, on the weekend of August 7-9, I will be in Toronto to take in two live Jays games and it happens that Joe Carter will also be there, as will several other players from that era: Rob Butler; David Cone: Kelly Gruber; Juan Guzman; Tom Henke; Pat Hentgen; Jimmy Key; Randy Knorr; Al Leiter; Candy Maldonado; Paul Molitor; John Olerud; Ed Sprague; Mike Timlin; Devon White; and Roberto Alomar. Rance Mulliniks and Pat Tabler, who usually call the games today, will be there as part of the reunion. Wonder who will call the games for the reunion weekend? And yes, Cito Gaston, the most winningest coach of all time, who is back to coaching this year, will also be part of the festivities.

Imagine, all these ex-Blue Jays will be in town to celebrate my birthday -- what fun!!!!!!!!

My New Pain Meds

Not sure what to think yet about my new pain meds, which I am supposed to take every 12 hours.

Yesterday, having taken the new med on my way to bed the night before, I woke feeling more rested and refreshed than I had in weeks. This was good! I had awakened twice during the night, which is the norm for me (I swear my bladder is the size of a thimble!) so I wasn't too concerned about that. But, no pain in my hips -- woo hoo!!!!!!

I went about my day quietly without stressing myself too much, just as my doctor had advised, because I have to give this new regimen three or four days to take effect. But I didn't take the morning dose because I don't see any reason to take more drug than is necessary to achieve pain relief. My reasoning is, if I'm getting the desired result at a given dose, why take more than that? I understand the need for taking medication as prescribed, but until I know what frequency I need, I am reluctant to put any more drug into my body than is necessary. I am more than a little paranoid about developing an addiction. My doctor is aware that I do this with certain of my prescriptions, and he trusts me to make adjustments as required, as long as I communicate the changes to him (his office receives regular faxes from me).

I was delighted with the fact that my hips remained pain free throughout the day. This was beyond good! It was approaching the 23-hour mark (almost my bedtime) before my hips started indicating that they needed more pain relief. I took one of the new pain meds on my way to bed last night.

Fast forward to this morning. As is usual for me, I had awakened a couple of times during the night; but again I awoke this morning feeling rested and refreshed, ready to face the day. The difference today was, by the time I had been up and about for half an hour, my hip was clearly in need of pain relief. It had been almost 12 hours since I had taken the last dose. I have no interest in being a martyr about this; nor do I plan to be stupid and not give this new regimen a fair trial. So, today, I am taking the new pain meds as prescribed. And I will continue to do so unless I start experiencing undesired side effects.

Here's hoping the new meds will work as they are supposed to without rendering me nonfunctional.

This one's for you JOHN

Apparently my husband has been following this blog (what a dedicated sweetheart he is).

He approached me this morning with the following gentle suggestion, "If you're going to criticize me in your blog, please don't address me in the third person like I'm some kind of ..." (I don't actually recall the descriptive he used because I was too busy mentally digging for my retort.

"But darling, I'm trying to preserve your, your, your, your," I stammered. Another effect of "fibro fog" is difficulty finding the right word, which is most annoying for a wordsmith such as I.

"My dignity?" he offered. "I don't have any of that left since I underwent radiation therapy for prostate cancer."

We were both enjoying the giggle.

"So you want me to use your name?" I asked.

"Yes, of course, that's what I have it for," he said.

So, my darling husband, since I most certainly do not want to offend you, from this point on, when I'm telling tales that include you, I'll be sure to name you by name.

If anyone else who is following this blog recognizes themselves in the stories and would prefer to be identified by name, please do let me know. I will be only too pleased to accommodate you.

I made it!

Well, I made it through the two days and have lived to talk about it.

• I had a physiotherapy session, which is always beneficial.
• I'm back to beautiful cuz I got my hair cut.
• I saw my daughter and grandson (and managed to elicit some extra hugs from him).
• I had a wonderfully enjoyable dinner and visit with my good friend last night. And as a bonus, her daughter (whom I call "my other daughter") happened to telephone from Maui so I got to talk to her briefly too.
• OK, so I slept lousy -- my hips were beyond sore and for some reason the leg cramps came back with a vengeance during the night.
• I had a ninety-minute breakfast visit with my favourite sister this morning.
• I only had to wait 45-minutes for my 9:30am appointment with my doctor. We sat and chatted for easily a full 30 minutes. We're going to try a new approach for my hip pain, so I sure hope it works (damn, maybe we should have filled that prescription for my husband the other day!). Oh, and my lungs are working just fine, according to the lung function test they were finally able to perform. It's always good to establish that your asthma meds are working as they should.
• I stopped in about one issue with my hearing aids (yes, folks, I'm hearing impaired too!) and found out that one of the units had a totally different issue and had to be sent in for repair. That's not such a good thing in terms of my being without it in the interim, but I had no idea it was broken!
• I had no difficulty filling in the time while I waited for the pick-up call following my friend's day surgery. When I arrived to get her, she was almost wider awake than I. You would hardly have known that she had been under anaesthetic. The wonders of some people!

Now I'm home after two very long days, and as soon as my husband is ready (yes, it seems I'm always waiting for him, not the other way around) we are going into town to have pizza for dinner. Since I have to go in to have my new prescription filled, I figure we may as well make use of the trip. Besides, I'm on a roll. Having had dinner in a restaurant last night and breakfast in a restaurant this morning, why stop now? I will, however, be taking that very welcome massage bath as I head to bed this evening.

Til next time,

Long two days ahead ...

After a rather rough night last night, I'm facing two long days ahead me.

I don't know what the problem was last night but I couldn't get comfortable for love nor money. It seems my legs weren't going to be happy regardless to what position they were in. When that happens, the pain permeates my dreams and definitely affects the quality of sleep, leaving me feeling tired and washed out the next day. So I know what I'm in for today. And I have to go in to the big city again. But you can be sure I won't take myself off routine and be caught without having taken my pain medicine before I leave. And I most certainly won't be leaving the house with barenaked ears today!

The trip today is a pleasure trip, combined with commitment duties. So I threw in a physio treatment since I would be there anyway. My hairdresser quit working from a salon, where I used to be able to book a morning appointment, and now works from her home but she only has evening hours. That means when I get my hair cut, I also have to stay overnight in the city because I cannot drive in the dark (another of my afflictions). Today is haircut day (evening).

On this particular overnight visit, I won't be staying at my daughter's place, although I hope to stop in briefly to say hi after my haircut. This time, I will have a "sleepover" at a friend's place. We will go for a leisurely dinner then sit and chat for as long as my body lets me (some visits we make it until 9:00pm!)

Then in the morning, I will pick up my sister and we will go for breakfast before she has to report to work. We don't get to see each other nearly often enough so whenever we can organize a breakfast visit, we take advantage of the opportunity.

After breakfast, I will report to my doctor's office for a 9:30am appointment. He is notorious for being behind schedule so I can expect to be there until about 11:30am -- a wait that is brutal for me and I never miss the opportunity to tell him so. It is beyond me how they can get so far behind so early in the day, but it happens every time. My last visit was for an 8:15am appointment. He starts at 8:00am; I didn't see him until 9:30am -- how does that work?

Tomorrow, however, the wait in my doctor's office will prove somewhat beneficial since I have to wait somewhere. I'm playing day surgery pick-up for a friend who is having a minor procedure performed at the Civic Hospital. She should be ready for pick-up at around 12:30pm (or so we are told) and I will take her home and play nursemaid for a bit until I establish that she is OK. After the recent episode with my husband's surgery, I'm not predicting any kind of timeline ahead of the event. So I know that tomorrow will also be a long day.

However, the payoff for two long days is that I will have had spent quality time with a very good friend as well as with my favourite sister and I will have performed a necessary helpful function for another very good friend. Oh, and I will have had physio and a hair cut, and seen my doctor; each of which is necessary as well.

Not bad for someone who really needs to pace herself. I'll rest when I get home. I can hear the bath tub calling me already.

Gotta love the medical community!

At the outset, I will apologize for the length of this post, but this is too ridiculous not to share.

There was a message on our answer service this morning. It was one of those canned messages from our pharmacy; apparently there was a prescription refill waiting for "a member of our family." Trouble was, we didn't have any outstanding refill orders. I am in charge of health care and I order all the refills for this household. I called the pharmacy to try to sort out the matter and oh what a delight that call turned out to be! It went something like this (I may paraphrase in places):

BF: "Hello, this is BF. I received one of your canned messages about a prescription refill waiting for somebody here. We don't have any refills waiting. Can that be checked please?"

Clerk: "Yes, certainly." (A few minutes later) "There's nothing here for you. Might it be for another member of the family?"

BF: "Yes, my husband."

Clerk: "Yes, that's who it's for."

BF: "We don't have anything waiting for him either. What is the item please? and from which doctor?" I had a sneaking suspicion that this was a carry-over from the surgery my husband had had a week ago. When I had stopped in to fill the prescription for Percocet, the surgeon hadn't indicated a quantity. When they tried to clarify the order, the doctor was busy in surgery and would have to call back. In frustration, and in the interests of getting him home to bed where he belonged, I told them not to bother. I knew he could take some of my Tylenol #3. He opted instead to alternate between Fast Acting Tylenol and Ibuprofen -- and he managed just fine.

Clerk: "I'm sorry. I can't tell you that."

BF: "So you need to speak to him then?" Over my shoulder, to my husband: "J, pick up the phone please."

Now all three of us are on the telephone.

JF: "Hello, I don't know what prescription you might have for me. I never order any of my refills. My wife takes care of that around here."

BF: "What is the drug please?"

Clerk: "Ma'am, I need for him to ask me that question." (I could not believe what I was hearing!)

BF: "J, will you please ask the lady what the prescription is for."

JF: "What is the drug?"

Clerk: "It's for oxycodone."

JF & BF, in unison: "Oxycodone?" I knew very well there was no such refill waiting for him for that drug but now I knew for sure that this mess stemmed from the surgery a week ago. My husband had no idea what the drug was.

BF: "Who is the prescription from please?" I'm expecting the answer to be the name of the surgeon.

Clerk: "I'm sorry, ma'am, I need for him to ask me that."

JF, this time without my asking him, and sounding quite frustrated with the whole ordeal: "What doctor called that in please?" She named my husband's family physician, and said it was dated 13 April. Now we're really confused! Nothing makes sense. We both insisted that there had to be an error and my husband just hung up the phone. So now the clerk is willing to grant that an error must have occurred somewhere. She asked if I would wait two seconds while she checks the original order (what a novel idea!)

A pharmacist comes to the phone and explains that the prescription stems from a surgery that my husband had but they had to clarify the order ("the surgeon had failed to indicate the quantity," she explained.) She wasn't sure how his family doctor's name got mixed up in this, but if he didn't need it anymore, she could put it back. I assured her that she could put it back. He needed it at the time of the surgery, on April 8th, not now, a full week later. Surprisingly, she didn't say, "Ma'm, I need for him to tell me that."

Now, this is a very small community. Had I walked into the pharmacy, I would have been greeted with, "Hi B. Are you picking up for you or your husband?" and the pharmacist would have dealt with me alone. Not once would I have heard, "I'm sorry, I can't tell you that," or "Ma'am, I need for him to ask me that." Boggles the mind!

But even scarier : surgery on April 8th - prescription not clarified and filled until April 13th - and the pharmacy is reminding us to pick it up two days after that? Wow, I'm sure glad it wasn't for anything really urgent, like to control post-surgical pain!

For those who don't know, my husband had his gall bladder removed as a day surgery patient. To think that what they used to slice you almost in half for can now be done through the belly button is truly amazing! As you have by now figured out, he is well recovered. He is almost back to going up and down the stairs like a gazelle (would that I could match him at that feat!)

Did they leave any for me?

I had to go for bloodwork this morning. This new rheumatologist I'm seeing apparently wants to know everything there is to know about me, at least everything you can learn about someone through their blood. I guess that's a good thing in terms of diagnostic efforts when nothing else seems to have worked thus far. He has to start somewhere.

I wonder what his reaction will be when my blood work shows I don't have allergies, but my history clearly proves I do; or when the tests indicate that I am not arthritic, but my history clearly proves I am. Hell, you can look at my fingers and see the evidence of arthritis! Can you tell I've been through this before? My blood tests have always come back indicating NORMAL. Just like my x-rays indicate that everything is NORMAL. He's a young guy, I'm guessing fairly early in his career. So he's very gung-ho and I like that about him. I hope he still likes me once he's had me for a patient for a while!

Anyway, I couldn't believe the number of vials the technician put aside for this exercise; there were easily eight or nine of them. I asked her if she was going to leave any blood for me because I had to get home from there on something! My follow-up visit with the rheumatologist doesn't happen until the end of May so I won't know the results of these tests until then. Who knows, maybe by some quirk of nature my blood will actually reveal some answers of diagnostic usefulness.

My husband and I stopped at a restaurant for breakfast when we left the lab -- neither of us could make the trip home without replenishment. It is, after all, a full fifteen-minute drive from lab to home.

Disaster?

Wow, I could have had a disaster today.

I left home in such a hurry this morning that I had forgotten a few minor important details in my prepping routine: I forgot to take my mid-morning medication (which includes my pain pill); AND I forgot to put on my earrings.

Now, perhaps I should explain.

I have a routine that helps ensure that I don't forget to do what needs to be done. Anyone who suffers with fibromyalgia will be aware of the term "fibro fog." Well, when I'm in a "fibro flare up" I'm in major fibro fog, and I would forget my head if it weren't attached. So, to keep the damage to a minimum, I try to keep to a routine.

For some reason, this morning I strayed from my routine and did almost everything in the wrong order. In fact, there really was no order to the routine I didn't follow this morning. Hence, I forgot to put on my earrings when I got dressed -- that is the last thing I do in the "getting dressed" routine but I got side-tracked this morning. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely NEVER leave the house with "barenaked ears." If I had not been running late this morning, I really would have gone back home to get earrings as soon as I realized that I had forgotten them (I have been known to do just that in the past).

As to my medication, there is a set of pills I take mid-morning, and one of those pills is my Codeine Contin. I was running late this morning and left the house without taking those pills. I now know very well that the Codeine works, if I take it! By the time I got to the physiotherapist's office, I could barely walk to get from the car to her office -- I was really dragging bottom!

Things were much improved when I left physio after having received my top-to-bottom acupuncture treatment, so the day wasn't completely lost. I was able to make my other two stops before heading home.

But I was still in the big city with bare naked ears and nothing can account for that!

This really sucks!

OK, so it's only 9:50am and I have already used up all my energy reserve for the day. I have showered, done my hair, got dressed, made breakfast, cleaned up from breakfast, and now I have to head out for a day of appointments in Ottawa. Well, let's be honest, a day of one appointment in Ottawa (physiotherapy, which I need desperately) and a few stops to make on my way home. But that's enough when I'm already out of energy.

Truth be known, I am tired of being tired! And I'm tired of being sore all over. I would love to wake up one morning and not be aching all over; or, to know that the aching will dissipate as the day goes on. But that doesn't happen for me. In my case, the more I do, the worse my pain gets. And I know that's not the way it's supposed to be. But that is my reality -- every day; day in, day out. It just doesn't get any better; it just gets "some days not quite so bad as others."

And that sucks!

Frustration

So, here we are, it is 5:00pm and I've done nothing today but get frustrated. Why you might ask? I've spent the day trying to manouevre my way around the Google Blog/G-mail site to make sure it operates the way I want (or more to the point, make sure it is NOT operating in ways that I don't want). There is a significant learning curve associated with this endeavour!

All the while I'm concentrating so intently, I'm trying to ignore the intense pain running up and down both legs. It doesn't matter what position my legs are in, they ache; the only difference is degree.

I have to pull the plug on the amount of time I can sit here in from of this computer on any given day, so this will be it for today. Besides, it's ball season again and tonight's game airs at 8:00pm so by the time we get supper behind us, I'll have a game to occupy my senses.

Til later

A new day

So, here we are on day two of this new venture.

If you haven't yet read about my 30-year struggle with fibromyalgia, (in the Links section to the right), you should do that before trying to make sense of this blog; otherwise it might sound like the ramblings of a crazy lady. For those of you who don't know what fibromyalgia is, there are also some links to information about the disorder to help you understand its wide-spread ramifications.

I only woke three times during the night; standard fare for me. Once was for a visit to the washroom; the other two were to change positions. My leg cramps have gotten so bad that this time I couldn't count on my legs to help me turn over! But I had already decreased the Lyrica with my bedtime dosage last night, so the cramps should subside by at least tomorrow.

When I woke for the day today, I was in what I call my rigor-mortis state -- that is when I can't move any muscle in my body without severe pain. I can be in this state after sleeping all night, or after a 10 minute nap; it doesn't seem to matter. But when it occurs, it takes me several minutes before anything starts working without pain and it really isn't fun. I have to slowly stretch each limb and suffer the agony associated with it until eventually all my body parts co-operate. Then I slowly get up and literally shuffle along because my legs simply don't work due to the pain in my hips. Of course today, I have the leg cramps thrown into the mix so that isn't helping.

Off to start another day.

Launch of my Blog

OK, here goes - the launch of my "Living with Fibro" blog. I'm not sure what I will achieve with this venture but only time will tell if anything comes of it.

If you haven't yet read about my 30-year struggle with fibromyalgia, (in the Links section to the right), you should do that before trying to make sense of this blog; otherwise it might sound like the ramblings of a crazy lady. For those of you who don't know what fibromyalgia is, there are also some links to information about the disorder to help you understand its wide-spread ramifications.

I have spent the past few days working on this project and I think I finally have it developed the way I want. It turned out to be a little more time-consuming than I had imagined but isn't that always the way with anything computer-related?

Well, it is now 2:45pm and I have numb-bum from sitting at this computer as long as I have today. For starters, I showered, which took a great deal of my energy. Oh, I just remembered that I put a load of laundry in -- I must go and tend to that!

I found out this morning that 400mg/day of Lyrica most definitely causes extreme leg cramping so I guess I have my answer on that front. I certainly can't continue at that dosage and allow the cramping to get any worse because I won't be able to function if that happens.

I'm very tired now so I'm going to stop here so I can watch the rest of the ball game. I will post again later.